Dear Annie: Boyfriend’s search for polyamorous life breaks girlfriend’s heart

Annie Lane writes the Dear Annie advice line.

Dear Annie: i have been seeing this person, “David,” on / off for almost a 12 months . 5 therefore we have actually this long-distance relationship going on. That is my really first relationship, but he is been with some ladies in the last. Although we can not see each other normally even as we’d like, we want to fix that this fall semester, since I have’ll be moving up to a university that is nearer to where he lives. I am really getting excited about watching soccer games together and bringing him to university parties with me.

The main point here is i have grown to actually have emotions for him. In reality, i believe he is loved by me. But often as soon as we talk, he reminds me personally that i am maybe perhaps not likely to be the only girl in their life. He tells me which he intends to return home one time to young ones — as well as 2 ladies.

He claims he wish to start someone that is seeing while nevertheless dating me. Though it variety of breaks my heart, I would nevertheless desire to be for the reason that relationship with him. We said I would be here because I love him so much for him no matter what happens. And I also stated that i am fine with an other woman. But actually, I do not think i will be.

There are lots of things that are great David: He does their “boyfriend duties.” He is here for me personally once I’m unfortunate, whenever I have to rant, once I should just feel liked. We text each other great deal as soon as we’re both perhaps perhaps not too busy. I understand he has got chatspin work, in which he works on recording music after finishing up work, which will make life pretty busy. So some full days we do not speak with one another, that I completely realize.

I do not like to forget about him because he’s become this kind of big element of my life currently.

He is wanted by me become pleased and attain their imagine coping with two females, and so I would not mind if an other woman is included. Of course it ever surely got to be a lot of for me personally, i really could simply keep him (and simply take any young ones we now have with me and start to become a solitary mother), right?

I do not understand the things I sense. I wish to be I don’t want to fight for his attention with him, but. Have always been I selfish in a real means for wanting my man to myself, never to have to share with you him with an other woman? Just What can I do? — In The Middle

Dear among: this may never work, regardless of how difficult you try. You will be plainly maybe maybe not okay aided by the concept of Mark having a 2nd girlfriend (and that would blame you). Break it well, and also the sooner the higher. You will feel lonely for a time, not almost because lonely while you would beside a person who can’t ever love you the way in which you may need.

I’m sure it’s your very first relationship, and you cannot imagine your self with someone else. But you will have somebody else — a person who will think it really is a dream come true up to now simply you.

Dear Annie: we received my check that is stimulus in account two times ago. Personally I think extremely endowed. Though i am perhaps perhaps not rich by any measure, i will be resigned, and so I have actually a reliable earnings, the house is purchased and I don’t have any outstanding debt. Yes, We have costs: i recently paid very nearly $2,000 for vehicle dilemmas. But i will be just losing my “cushion” in this financial crash. I am perhaps not scared of losing my house, struggling to feed my kids or having to pay my bills. I will be donating at the very least part of my check to Dare to Care Food Bank while having challenged my buddies to accomplish the exact same — to donate to their charities that are preferred. Will other people interact? — Grateful and desire to Share

Dear Grateful: Your generosity is inspiring. This can be an idea that is wonderful people who can handle it. Thank you for composing.